Well, I'm a little over 3 months into my pregnancy and have been severly dreading the next 6 months. Exactly one week ago I found myself complaining to my best friend why can't I be one of those women who relishes being pregnant. You know those women (some friends of mine) who feel wonderful when they are pregnant, they actually glow. Well, I certainly don't glow....it takes an act of congress for me to get out of my bathrobe, brush my teeth, and do anything for the day. And when I say anything, I mean anything that requires me to get up off the couch and be gone longer then it takes to visit the bathroom. Not to mention the crazy hormones that find me crying one minute and wanting to throw things through the window the next. I haven't been outwardly complaining until my friend came to town. See, she's my safe place, the friend that you don't hold back from, the one who knows you and your true feelings and pulls them out of you even when you've denied them and even tricked yourself into believing you don't feel that way. She's the friend I can't hide from. Then last night we went to dinner at another friend's house. We talked about their past and how they had lost a baby. It wasn't some drawn out or profound conversation but simple and honest. I didn't even think much about it until I was lying in bed last night and HE started reminding me that HE put life in me. Boy, did I need a perspective change. I have been so ungrateful. I know it's okay that I truly don't feel well. But, I don't want to dread the next few months. This time is a gift and I have not been making the most of what God has blessed us with. There is a new little life in me. Growing, developing, changing every miunte in me......God is doing a miracle in my body. His hands in me forming every detail. I love it. So the next 6 months? More uncomfortableness, less and less sleep, and the miracle of God working in my womb forming this precious life that I am so grateful to get to experience not once but twice so far in my lifetime. Life is a gift!
